Friday, May 21, 2010


It was pretty difficult getting out of bed this morning. After a whole week of waking up at 10am, having to wake up at 7:30 felt like I might as well have gotten up at 3! Usually, I allow myself to grab a mocha and a pastry from one of the many local cafe's downtown, on my way to work. I felt as though I simply could not make it through the day if I didn't have my mocha. And besides, I did really good this week, right? Besides, I think my period is about to start, its no wonder I'm having all these weird cravings.
So, did I pass on the mocha and pastry?
I thought a homemade blueberry muffin and a sugar free red bull would be a better choice. I tried to talk myself into just the peach yogurt and granola, but I knew if I didn't make some sort of allowance, it had the potential of ruining my day. Hopefully next week, I'll be more comfortable with my new eating skills, and will be able to pass up even the healthiest of bought food.

One thing I remember very clearly from when my cousin was going through her weight loss journey was how she would grab something to eat before she went somewhere. Even if she was going there for dinner. She was driver out of her way to grab a cheeseburger and some fries, or a sandwich or a cookie, and wouldn't eat it until she got where she was going. I kept that behavior in my mental notes, and in the last couple of months, have really noticed it about myself. I would stop and grab something to eat and/or drink before I went to work, before I went home, if I was going to the store, I always got something to eat on the way home... It was like a calming treat to look forward to.

Except then I would always wonder why I just ate that, or why suddenly my stomach was revolting. The red bull I drank today went straight to my head, only without leaving me with wings.

Today is going to be a long day. I can tell.


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