Tuesday, May 18, 2010
I know I need a new routine when I get home. My biggest thing is just to decompress, and food certainly helps with that. Tomorrow, weather permitting, I plan on walking home from work. I'll even wear the appropriate shoes.
Some exercise tidbits I feel like I should disclose: I stretch all the time. Partly because my back seems to always be hurting these days, but mostly because thats something I've always done. I love stretching. I love doing yoga. I usually don't do a lot of yoga, it doesn't get very intense. I slowed down on that when I felt it getting harder instead of easier. I gave in to the resistance, and stopped resisting.
My major decision making moment in deciding to give losing weight a real shot was realizing that I felt fat. I don't think I had felt that before. Please understand, I can push it around, and pinch it, and squash and lift my fat, but I've never felt fat before. Now, I finally feel it becoming more difficult to get around, up, down, on my knees, out of bed.
If I don't do something about the way I feel right now, my punishment is to continue feeling this way. I hate the way this feels. I feel disgusting. I don't trust my body anymore, I'm afraid its not capable anymore. This is a truly terrifying feeling.
I think I'll do some real yoga right now. The only way this feeling is going to go away is if I make it.