Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Blossoming







“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” Anais Nin



I think this is the quote that finally got me moving last year. The quote that made me reconsider my entire life. When is enough, enough? At what point do I say, "I am ready to face the unknown!" and actually do it? I've been scared my whole life. Scared of being made fun of, scared of dying, scared of living, scared of disappointing others, scared of disappointing myself. I've encouraged myself to stay hidden in the shadows, to not participate in life, to accept being shy as an excuse to not communicate, all for what?

Of course, over the years I've made huge leaps and bounds. I went off to college with no money in a place I'd never visited, with no real support system. I moved to Alaska in basically the same situation. But I still only did the minimum required of me. Even today, I still feel like there is more I could do to participate, to be engaged. It was always seemed so much safer to tread the water, not knowing what lied beneath the murkiness. I think if I just put my feet down for a minute, I would realize how shallow the water actually is, how much easier it is to stand on my own two feet and trust myself not to drown.

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Since reading that quote over a year ago, I have seen progress. I've participated in life. I've walk the walk, I've talked my talk. I stood up in front of hundreds of people knowing I could have looked better, but still felt proud of myself, because I was proud of myself. I accepted that they accepted me just as I am.

I see now that I'm blossoming. I see the change within me.

Looking back over your progress, do you see change, emotionally and/or physically? What kind of changes do you see?



3 comments:

Yum Yucky said... [Reply to comment]

I love this post. I've seen changes in myself by truly (finally!) examining myself and not sugarcoating the "ugly" stuff. I do better at facing the truths about myself, which empowers me to make the necessary changes.

Lily Fluffbottom said... [Reply to comment]

YumYucky, Thank you! Its important to accept the "ugly stuff" at face value, but its also important to recognize the things that are awesome and beautiful about yourself and give credit where credit is due. Its been a long time coming, but I'm getting better at it every day.

Teeg said... [Reply to comment]

Oh this is beautiful! I am glad this quote inspired you because I feel the same way - until one day an event occurred and I realized I had spent my entire life with my eyes closed. Its time we open our eyes and fully embrace EVERYTHING. Fear not. <3333

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