Body Terrorist Alert: I am starting to notice myself slipping into mindlessness again. I ate half of a pudding snack because it was dark and we were re-watching the second season of Grey's Anatomy, before I realized I hadn't thought it through, I hadn't taken a picture, I had barely acknowledged that I was eating it in the first place.
She's been a major source of stress for me as of late, mostly because we live together, and work together, and on top of it all, we work the same schedule. And yes, we have the same friends. She is perfectly lovely person (most of the time), but sometimes, a girl just needs a break. I... I crave my solitude sometimes, and I'm not allowed to have it in our house most days. Its very frustrating.
So I spent all weekend saying goodbye to our other friend and listening to my roommate hack and cough, and have sex while hacking and coughing, trying desperately to find a way out. I went on a couple of fabulous walks which I've already mentioned, but its just not enough. I don't even want to go home at this point.
Today, Tuesday (which feels like Monday), I ate a bowl of frosted flakes with chocolate soy milk. The minute I was done eating, my stomach turned into a knot and yelled, "THAT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK TO DO THAT TO ME? WAS PLAIN SOY MILK NOT ENOUGH? WHY, LILY? WHY NOT? I NEED PROTEIN!" Needless to say, it was not the smartest decision I've made lately. Today feels like a pamphlet of un-smart decisions. I went to work without packing a lunch, and ended up ordering a cheese burger and fries from the grease join next door to my office. I washed it down with a diet soda... so I figured that would balance it out.<--- making excuses for my behavior. No, I will not make excuses. I asked my body what it wanted, and it wanted MEAT. It wanted Greasy fries, and it wanted still, protein. Of course I could have found a different source, perhaps one with less fat or whatnot. But I'm pretty sure I was supposed to eat that cheeseburger.
After work, I went food shopping for realz. The main reason behind the poorly made cereal this morning was I'm out of all the good stuff, and need to buy more. But when you don't have a car and you work later than usual, all of a sudden, food shopping is this huge deal that needs to be planned in advanced, and blah blah blah.
In other news, I weighed myself on Monday and today and I'm at 309.7. Which is pretty awesome, I think. Even with the mindless eating I caught myself in a couple of times over the weekend, I managed to still lose a little bit. I'm always surprised when the number goes down because I never think it will. <--- Talk about setting yourself up for disappointment!