An Explanation of Sorts:It is very tedious trying to take pictures of everything I eat. I allowed myself to get lazy about it because I'm upset. There is way more here than pictured that I ate, only I don't actually remember what they were.
Why the sudden change in mood? (You guys don't really know this, but I've been in a state of panic for about a week now.) Because last night I was reminded that I can't keep doing what I'm doing. For the first time in a long time, I was losing weight. I was feeling proud of myself. I stopped caring how the world viewed me for seconds at a time. I looked in the mirror and wasn't confused by what I saw. And I let it go. I allowed myself to let it go. "Give yourself a break," I thought. "You're grieving," says my subconscious. "You can't be expected to do everything all the time."
I won't lie. I've been doing a lot of snacking that has not been photographed. I'm letting myself get away with it, and I know its wrong. The photographs are there to keep me accountable, and they've worked. But I'm only accountable to myself.
Waking up this morning was like rising out of the fog. I know what I have to do. Today I'm ready to do it.