Flexitarian

I loved being vegetarian back in 2003. I ate healthy(ier) all the time (most of the time.... lets be honest here.) and felt lighter and cleaner. I think that first month I lost 20 lbs without trying. Of course that stopped pretty quickly, and I wasn't ever able to get it much lower, and eventually it creeped up again. When I moved to Alaska in 2005, I was unprepared for how erratic my emotions and my life would be come, and in the dead of winter I started eating meat, quit my job, and started smoking ciggarettes- all within 72 hours. I always swore once my life was more "settled", I would go back to vegetarianism. I never imagined it would take nearly 6 years to get there.

My old plan for vegetarianism was this: dairy and eggs were GO; meat, gelatin, fish, or pans inwhich meat has been cooked without being cleaned were NO GO. This was held in place by my super power imaginiation. Let me take you on a journey.

It was early December, 2003. We had just celebrated Thanksgiving at my uncles house in Washington, and now I was eagerly awaiting Christmas. My mom had made steak and potatoes for dinner that night. For weeks,( I had been considering the pros and cons of vegetarianism, but I wasn't sure if I could make the leap.) I was watching tv while eating, and as I brought another bite of steak to my lips, suddenly I was transported "tunnel vision style" to a open field of golden wheat. In the middle of the pasture there was a cow, dead and on its side. As you walked closer to the cow, you could see there was a giant hole that took up most of its stomach. In the whole, there were ants and maggots and flies everywhere, crawling in and around the giant open stinking carcass.

Behind me, I hear a rustling. I turn around, and a farmer complete with farmer tanned arms, dirty blue jean overalls, sraggily wiry hair, walks up, and spits his chewing tabacco into the cows stomach. With a pitchfork, he stabs the cow in the open wound with all the spit and bugs and rotten flesh, and pulls out a hunk of steak. That steak is the one that was currently being masticated by me.

I promptly put spit out my meal, and decided in that moment I could never eat meat again. Anytime I was tempted, I thought back to this scene and instantly had no wish to put it anywhere near me or my mouth. It worked for 3 years. True Story.

Back to Now:

So, this time, meat is off the table. I'm not going to worry about chicken broth, or meals cooked next to meat. No milk this time around. Cheese is okay, but regular cow milk is not. It makes me feel icky. Also, if I wanna eat a hamburger once every couple of months, that's okay. If when I go out to a restaurant and I want some chicken, thats okay. Not every time. Shouldn't be the first choice, or the only choice. Its more about listening to what my body needs and right now it needs to be free of most animal products.



Also, I Zumba'd today. 20 minutes. Not a lot, but better than nothing.