Wednesday, July 21, 2010

If I Don't do this Now, I Never Will

I feel like the last couple of weeks I've been falling apart by pieces. Overall, I feel exactly the same as I did yesterday, and last week, or even 6 months ago. I mean, I feel lonely all the time. This past weekend, my roommate finally moved away, back to Ohio. This was good for her- she needed out. This is bad for me, because I'm already a naturally quiet loner type. And now, I go home to an empty house, to watch tv all by myself to cook and eat dinner all by myself. I've been all by myself for years. I'm over it. (Oh, I can't tell you how badly I don't want a roommate though...)

Confession: The excuse I've been using to put off updating this blog more often is: "I haven't uploaded any of the pictures I've taken yet!"

Last weekend before my roommate left, I went on a 7 mile walk, to prepare for my half Marathon in August. It was a beautiful day out, and the trail I took follows right along the ocean. It was quiet, and breezy. It took about 3 hours all together, and I was positively exshausted afterwards. But I felt so accomplished and proud.

So I used it as an excuse to eat however I wanted, whatever I wanted for the next two days. *growls at self*

This is something I've noticed I've done in the recent past as well. I have a week of good days, finally see the number drop a fair amount on the scale, and become so excited that.... I eat. Even worse, I give myself permission to eat all those things I didn't have permission to eat the week before.  So my weight drops, then two days later its like it never happened, and I lose those same 3 pounds all over again. Its a bitter cycle, one I hadn't prepared for.

How do you all reward yourself?  Is it a conscious thing, or a subconscious thing? Any ideas how I can go about rewarding myself with things that aren't food?


Holly said... [Reply to comment]

I would suggest mini goals throughout your journey. At least that is what I do. My first was a reward upon losing 15 pounds which was taking a weekend trip. My next will be either new running shoes or a Nike +. You can do a manicure or pedicure, a new cd. You don't have to reward yourself for every little thing you accomplish. The accomplishment itself can serve as the reward.

Are there any walking clubs in your area? You should get plugged into some kind of group so you don't feel so lonely.

You should apply to be a Biggest Loser contestant. If you were to go on the Biggest Loser, you would have a ranch full of people to keep you company and hold you accountable for your actions.

Hang in there!

Anonymous said... [Reply to comment]

My friend once a made a jar of rewards for herself. She wrote a reward on a piece of paper (new outfit, manicure, new book, etc) and filled the jar. When she lost x amount of pounds, she would reach in grab a piece of paper and reward herself with what was written down.

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