Alone I Am

This morning, I tried really hard to eat some oatmeal and cinnamon apple sauce. It didn't work. I just cannot stand the texture of oatmeal. It was suggested to me that I use less liquid, but I'm always worried that there won't be enough for it to full be "cooked through". I dunno. I guess I just don't understand the process of oatmeal making. Instead, I stole the regular cow milk from my neighbor, and had a bowl of cereal; half Kashi Go Lean Crunch, half honey bunches of oats, with strawberries. And Ovaltine in my milk, because I only eat cereal with chocolate milk.

Lunch was supposed to be the soup pictured, but instead I had left over spaghetti. That was an impulse I'm trying to fix. I ate the spaghetti in front of my computer. I kept trying to turn away from my computer, but there was always something I needed to check before I could settle in.  I've decided that food is pretty boring if there isn't moving pictures to accompany it.

I also ended up not eating the chocolate pudding. That really exists for those moments when if I don't have something chocolate IMMEDIATELY, I'll kill someone. Its weird how just knowing that its there is usually enough to keep me from eating it. I think its a, "Well if I eat it now, I can't eat it later," mentality.

I tried so hard to to finish this post last night, but I didn't get around to writing it until midnight.... I really must remember to write the bulk of these things while at work. Its the only place I have time!

For dinner, I had huli-huli chicken, rice and corn on the cob, that was smothered in margarine. I snuck just the smalled piece of cheese as well. I couldn't help myself. It was small enough to just slip right into my awaiting mouth, and no one would ever know. By walking from my neighbors, back to my house, I probably would have burned off any caloric contribution it brought. But I took a picture anyway. Those are the rules.

The chicken was pretty good. A little dry, maybe. It was grilled on the George Foreman Grill. I've never really been a fan of that thing, mostly because I don't know what the temperature is on it. And then when it gets too hot, it automatically shuts down. But it never shuts down after I'm done cooking, its always while I'm on my last piece of whatever is being grilled, and that last piece is still pink inside!

I chose the plate with the smallest piece of chicken- two chicken tenders. I tried to eat each bite like it was my first, but after the first handful, I really wasn't interested at that point.

I'm a very picky corn eater. I can't eat hot corn on the cob due to heat sensistitivey. So far, its the only thing I know I can't eat thats steaming straight out of the oven. I don't really understand it, but I always put my corn in the freezer after cooking it til it cools down enough. The colder, the better, as long as it hasn't frozen through!
After the first few bites, I decided that I did not like the cold melted margarine on my corn, and tried to wipe it off as best I could. It probably would have been slightly tastier with salt, but I just... don't put extra salt on my food.

No, when I have a craving, it usually some sort of sugar. By the time dinner was over, it was close to 11:30pm, so I decided to call it a night. My roommate went over to our neighbors house, and I immediately started thinking of all the things I could scarf down now that she was gone. I wanted everything, so I tried pausing to slow down and think through my feelings. I felt alone and abandoned, again. So I went for some fake Oreos, and a Cherry Coca Cola. I stopped taking pictures of everything I drink because I drink a lot of fluids everyday, and I know this blog is already image heavy. But, in the interest of disclosure, I drank that soda with the worst intentions, and so it should be mentioned.